Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
