either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
i believe in u and ur pee
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize