the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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