I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
