u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
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