i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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