okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
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Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
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Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
PANTIES FOUND
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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