i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just gargled with NyQuil
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
