she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
