i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You smell like stripper and shame
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
My dick has a subreddit
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
