I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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