and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
