the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
we're so committed to being not committed
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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