the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
