the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize