I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
