Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
