just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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