He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
