At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
