I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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