she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
i out mim tonsoeep
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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