Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
not ubering you a puppy
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
