I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
