Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
