I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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