Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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