she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Randomize
