I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
