Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize