his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
