she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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