: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
