why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
