ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
