you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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