I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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