escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
