I'm passing your future prison.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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