Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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