he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
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