genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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