Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
