i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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