Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to summon your inner elephant
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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