so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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