I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize