this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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