Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
