my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Randomize
