I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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