I need help removing her.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
