i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
