i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Randomize
