I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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