South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
