sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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