bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
