A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
