At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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