I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
