So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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