A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
