Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
