Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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