when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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