I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
