in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
