i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
