If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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