@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize