I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize