there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
